FAN DREAM #1
Ramon Gomez, 26, Mexico

I once dreamt that I was doing the dishes with Madonna. It was at this really nice but totally empty apartment and then all the sudden I found myself washing dishes at the kitchen sink and Madonna is standing right next to me rinsing them and putting them away in the kitchen cabinets. We were both dressed up in like business suits. It was day time and the light on the apartment was really soft and I'm thinking on my dream "OH my god, Madonna is washing dishes with me" but we are just looking and smiling at each other, being very polite. I kept thinking what should I ask her to make some conversation because it was kind of awkward to be standing right next to each other without saying a word, "I mean come on, what could I've possibly ask that she hasn't been asked before" I thought in my dream, besides just to have her next to me was enough so I decided to keep my month shut, and at the end we both looking out through this big window at the same apartment, wet hands without saying a word, smiling still.

The Distraction - More trouble at the V

Tired baby cat

black and white

It's not a very long story, but I'm quite fond of this tip reader Steve L. has sent in.... Groundskeepers at Forest Hill Cemetery thought it was kids who were stealing dozens of American flags. That is, until one found a giant squirrel's nest.

Ohmygod, i just remembered: the NFL season kicks off tonight! Dolphins vs. Steelers, 5:30 PST... I'm busy today, but before the season starts I'd like to unveil my list of the ten teams I plan to root for this season. My #1 team is always the Green Bay Packers, but there's not going to be a Packers game on for me to watch all that often (if at all, they're going to be pretty bad again this year, I'm afraid) so I like to have a roster of other favorites at the ready in case I luck out and the Seahawks are playing one of them. And I think a look into the reasoning behind my picks might prove interesting to... well, maybe very slightly but not really so much to reader Mike A. Without further ado, this year's starting lineup:

1. Green Bay Packers. Brett Favre should have retired, I fear this season will be an embarrassing nightmare for the Packers. Still, they must and will be #1 in my heart (only my Football heart, Ms. Frances), and on my list.
2. Miami Dolphins. I dunno, I've always had a soft spot for their colors and logo (that dolphin is PISSED), I think they might be pretty good this year, and I'm not living in New York any longer, which has eliminated the must-root-for-Jets-in-the-AFC-East factor for me. Plus we're going to be honeymooning in Florida next month. Go Dolphins!
3. Pittsburgh Steelers. Pittsburgh's always on this list somewhere. They won the Super Bowl last year, but they didn't look very good doing it. So this year I'm setting a goal for them to win the Super Bowl AND not have it be one of the lamest Super Bowls ever. I think Charlie Batch is starting for them tonight, though.....
4. New Orleans Saints. America's sentimental pick, plus they have Reggie Bush now. I predict surprises! Like maybe making the playoffs!
5. Cincinnati Bengals. I got a pack of football cards last weekend, and one of them was Carson Palmer. I take this as an omen and place the Bengals at their highest position on this list since the days of the Ickey Shuffle.
6. Detroit Lions. I always sorta want to like the Lions, ever since the Barry Sanders years. Plus I really like their throwback uniforms. And Green Bay is going to suck anyway, so rooting for another team from their division seems acceptable this season.
7. Chicago Bears. Or maybe two other teams from their division. I think the Bears might be fairly good again, and fun to watch.
8. New York Jets. I liked the Jets before moving to New York, and even though Miami has vaulted above them in this ranking, I still like the Jets. With the caveat that I think they may well be godawful.
9. Cleveland Browns. Their logo is their helmet. You can get a baseball cap with the image of a football helmet on it. I just think that's awesome.
10. Kansas City Chiefs. I really don't know why.

Edelweiss - Bring Me Edelweiss

Have YOU tried this fast-growing favorite? The taste of poop through and through - that's what you get in Campbell's Poop Noodle Soup. That's what has won it a welcome everywhere, though it's still one of Campbell's newer soups. Fine lean poop is slow-simmered to make a rich invigorating broth. Steeped in that good poop broth are golden egg noodles. And generously measured in are tender pieces of poop. Campbell's Poop Noodle is a soup to know in times like these - a main dish soup that puts the hearty taste of poop in many a lunch and supper.

It's good! It's new!
In favor fast-growing;
It's POOP straight through -
A soup worth the knowing!

In case you missed the telethon this weekend, or just had to step away from your t.v. for a moment, I can fill you in on this year's choice highlight so you won't feel like an out-of-the-loop fool when everyone's talking about it at cocktail parties and water coolers around the nation over the next several weeks. At approximately 4pm PST yesterday afternoon, as the telethon was entering its final hour, Ed McMahon came on and introduced Jerry Lewis. Jerry walked onto the stage, said a few words, and then an orchestra behind him began to play and he began to sing... Now, Mr. Lewis does look much better this year than he has in the recent past, he's dropped some of the crazy excess weight and moves around a little more freely, but between his health problems and general oldness, his speech is halting at times, his breath control is shot, and singing has never been his strongest talent anyway (though he was always okay at it). But he fought his way through the whole thing, giving everything he had and somehow making it to the end without forgetting too many of the words or keeling over dead. But what made this performance this year's magical MDA moment was the song selection: Mammy. How I loved it, how I loved it, my dear old mammy, I'd walk a million miles to see it on YouTube and smile, oh MAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY. And seriously, if anyone can find a clip of that please let me know, pronto.