Monday, November 14, 2005

Oh no! It's not just 7th Heaven and Arrested Development getting the ax, now they've gone and announced that The Apprentice with Martha Stewart will disappear forever after the season finale next month. I think one of the reasons cited was "even that one blogger who watches your show can rarely be bothered to write anything about it" which makes me feel a little guilty, but c'mon NBC, I can rarely be bothered to write about anything these days! And really, I think part of the reason I find it a little more difficult to think up amusing quips about this version is that I'm actually enjoying watching it or something... Anyhow, let me toss out a note or two on last week's show while I still can.

  1. I've come to the conclusion that Jim Bozzini could well be the smartest person on the show, but this news highlights the fact that he made one major miscalculation. The ease with which he can turn the crazy snakin' action on and off like a spigot shows that it's all pretty much an act, designed to make him the next breakout reality star like that Omarosa or whoever. That kind of makes sense in that becoming a low-level personality for a few years is probably a better deal than actually winning the show, but unfortunately no one's watching this show and no one is going to remember Jim Bozzini in 2006 other than his neglected wife and the child whose birth he blew off for this shot at oblivian. Well, and perhaps you and I.
  2. I enjoyed the shot where Leslie Sanchez got SO very excited that the task was going to involve QVC - you could almost hear her saying to herself, "I KNEW this was a good day to wear my turquoise pantsuit." By the way, prior to her A:MS appearance, Leslie, who once sold encyclopedias door-to-door, spearheaded the Republican Party's first multimillion-dollar advertising campaign targeting Hispanic voters. Also by they way, Leslie is Hispanic, which is a good way to tell her apart from Dawna Stone. Dawna's dogs: Val and Buffett, Leslie's dog: Jalapeña.
  3. My two favorite moments from the show gave us a little insight into the Stewart women and the things they love. In the visit to Martha's house in the Hamptons, Lily Pond, we discovered that Martha collects taxidermy. "Oh yes, Martha is the biggest animal lover there is." Meanwhile, her daughter Alexis gave us a glimpse into her own heart in the conference room while filling Mom in on how Team Primarius had fared. "They chose the Bonaire Portable Air Inflator - which I love - and they sold it for..." If anyone else was watching the very first show, you may have caught the most uncomfortable moment of the proceedings thus far when Martha introduced Alexis and said that she was "still waiting for grandchildren!" Now we know why she continues to wait, because though the Bonaire inflator can perform many useful tasks around the house, ejaculating sperm does not appear to be one of them. Prior to this revelation I had just chalked the lack of progeny up to the lesbianism, but this romance is ever so much more detrimental to procreation... because I doubt that handy appliance is pals with David Crosby or anyone else who could help a sister out with some spare baby batter.
  4. My last note of interest doesn't concern the show itself, but an advertisement that ran during it... Jamie Lee Curtis is the new spokesperson for Hasbro? On the one hand you could see it as embarrassing evidence that she doesn't have much of a career going these days, but I applaud the fact that she's gone ahead and thrown herself into this role wholeheartedly, dressing up in striped prison togs to highlight Monopoly and such... it's still a little embarrassing, but I applaud it.

Okay, that's all I've got for now, tune in this Wednesday evening and catch the magic before it's gone like The Dragon, readers!


Anonymous Steve L said...

lol your comments on martha's daughter! actual lol, not just typing lol.

last night i think Marcela really saved herself with her little speech at the end - "people call me the mexican martha stewart - but i want you to be the mexican martha stewart". likewise, i think the other woman really sealed her fate when she mentioned people making mistakes, which intentional or not sounded like an oblique reference to Martha's time in prison.

one thing that's really been bugging me about this show and Trump's is how little sense these tasks make from a financial perspective, in particular the fact that the teams are being rated on revenue rather than profits. for example, imagine that the coffee makers cost $100 wholesale. team A sells 10 of them at the MSRP of $169:

cost: 10 x $100 = $1000
revenue: 10 x $169 = $1690
profit: $690

team B sells 5 of them for $300:

cost: 5 x $100 = $500
revenue: 5 x $300 = $1500
profit: $1000

so team A had higher sales by $190, but team B had higher profit by $310.

hoping there's a lot more going on behind the scenes, and they're just dumbing things down for the boardroom... anybody know?

7:42 AM  

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