Alright, I am now online, I have collected a wee bit of content, let's get this goddamn show on the road. Our first order of business: squirrels in the news, of which there are four. One attacked a cop, one attacked a dog, one ate too much birdseed, and the fourth got shot by Jason Williams and his neighbors are complaining about it (just like they did when he shot that limo driver and his dog). "Yankees," said his girlfriend, Dawn Wiggins. "This isn't Brooklyn. Were not popping people over here. One he fired, I was sitting in the house, and I never even heard it." Damn yankees.