Friday, July 15, 2005

This unexpected lull does give me a chance to catch up on the news though... today's top headlines, snidely:
  1. Source: Rove Got Agent's ID From Reporter, used it to buy top-secret beer.
  2. Local celebrity Ben “Cooter” Jones is not so crazy about the soon-to-be-released “Dukes of Hazzard” movie. Jones, who lives in Rappahannock County, starred as the wisecracking mechanic in the good ole boys TV show from 1979-85. However, the former Georgia congressman is urging “true blue Dukes fans” not to support the “sleazy” Hollywood version. “[Our fans] love the positive values of the show, the blatant and violent disrespect for law enforcement, its wholesome friendliness, Catherine Bach's ample cleavage and tight shorts, and the fact that my character's name is a synonym for a lady's honeypot,” Jones said in his Web statement. “How can the producers of this film be so cynical, so jaded, so out of touch with America’s heartland as to trash a great family show in this way?”
  3. U.S. Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist said he has no immediate plans to retire. "I want to put to rest the speculation and unfounded rumors of my imminent retirement,'' said Rehnquist, 80, who is battling thyroid cancer. "I am not about to announce my retirement. I will continue to perform my duties as chief justice as long as my health permits, so you just stay retired there, Sandra. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm a little fatigued from the dying of cancer and oldness and need to go re-admit myself to the hospital."
  4. Tom and Katie just keep making headlines. "I got a call last week at the clambake area that they ate all the hot dogs and hamburgers," said Vinnie Pennatto, one of the town's animal control officers. "It's kind of scary." Yeah, I'm just foolin', it's the raccoons.


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