Tuesday, July 05, 2005

I just did a quick search to see if there were any fireworks mishaps of interest to report, and found this unusually flippant dispatch from the Boston Herald: The Pawtucket Red Sox canceled a July 4 fireworks display at McCoy Stadium after a Sunday night fireworks mishap played like an explosive rendition of 'Who's On First'. Not only did this seem like a somewhat disrespectful way of describing an event which injured several people, the reference didn't even seem to make sense... until I found a transcript of the 'Who's On First' routine and realized that you rarely hear the complete bit the way it was originally performed anymore:

Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bookie Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.
Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Costello: His brother Daffy.
Abbott: Daffy Dean...
Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott: French?
Costello: Goofè.
Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: Hey, what the heck is that? Ow, I'm on fire! Oh God, I'm burnin', I'm burnin' up Abbott! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

That mystery solved, I then went on to look for some more fireworks-related news, and found that there is a definite trend forming in the reportage on these stories this year:

In circumstances reminiscent of Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner’s “2000 Year Old Man” routine, a Coast Guard patrol rescued a Sanibel man who was face down in the water near the Sanibel Causeway minutes after the fireworks show ended late Monday.

Police said a man shot and killed his neighbor Sunday outside a Chicago Heights home when the victim refused to stop lighting off fireworks, a scenario eerily similar to Bill Cosby’s classic riffs of Noah talking to God.

In a scene witnesses described as “like Steve Martin’s ‘Let’s Get Small’ bit”, several spectators in Florida were burned when a wayward rocket from an annual July Fourth fireworks display veered off course from a city pier and exploded in a crowd of people on a nearby beach, according to a Local 6 News report.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

No fireworks incidents similar to the eddie murphy classic "Boogie in Your Butt"?

Mike A

10:36 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

I, hey, that's, man, I ain't putting no cherry bombs in nobody's butt,
no roman cnadles in nobody's butt, putting You must be out your mind, man,
y'all get paid for doing this?
Cause y'all gotta get some kind of money
Cause this don't sound like the kind of--
I'd rather golf, to be perfectly honest,
than put somethin pyrotechnical in somebody's butt
[to be truthful

Step aside my friend and let me
Show you how you do it
When big bad E just rock rock to it
Put a sparkler in your butt
Say, put a silver sparkler in your butt
Say, put an M-80 in your butt
Say, put an M-160 in your butt
Say, put a bottle rocket in your butt
Put everything in your butt
Just start to sing about your butt
Feels real good
When you sing about your butt, sing

5:28 PM  

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