Thursday, June 30, 2005

Continuing with the annual fireworks roundup:
  1. I never meant 2 cause u any sorrow, I never meant 2 cause u any pain, I only wanted 2 shower u with flaming purple balls, I only wanted 2 singe ur eyebrows in the Purple Rain.
  2. Minuteman Fountain: this one's kinda lame, you light it up and then it just falls out of the back of the van and dies.
  3. A list of the most patriotic movie roles ever would include Henry Fonda in Young Mr. Lincoln, Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, John Wayne in The Sands of Iwo Jima, and topping the list, Stacy Keach in Nice Dreams. At least that's the only plausible reason I can think of for the existence of the Iguana Man Fountain.
  4. What's Up: I'd like to buy one of these and carry it around in my backpack all the time and then when someone asked me "what's up?" I'd light it and throw it at their feet and after the dozen shots of triple stage whistling silver crackling comets were finished I'd say "That's what's up, motherfucker".
  5. Mr. Turtle is quick to please the kids! He moves, sprays and surprise with his many antics. He also surprise with the fact that there is a fiery amphibian for sale and it's not an exploding toad. What's up with that?
  6. The only pyrotechnic display endorsed by Sir David Attenborough, Blue Planet.
  7. Rounding out the round-up: Monster Tractor Pull, Crazy Groundhog, Super Bullet Fountain, and - the irony is delicious - Fire Engine.


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