Ok, let's finish up pt. 4 of this week's Apprentice recap. As reader Mike A. has helpfully commented, Mother I'd Like to Flee Tana Goertz was originally on the Street Smarts team along with Craig, so half of my theory as to why Craig ought to be making the final four is now gone (her husband, who mystifyingly spells his last name differently, graduated magna cum laude, though). I'm still leaning toward the remainder of this game playing out the way I outlined in pt. 1, but if not maybe Craig will lose next week... even though he's still the only player that I think I might like in real life, he certainly did not add any value to his team this week, constantly griping that Kendra had no overriding concept, then going to bed early and waking up to find that Kendra had completed the brochure that she had been describing from the start all by herself, which he now loved. Of course, the same could be said for Tana - you know, I am all for their wish to go to bed at a decent hour, but I also think it's very unrealistic to think that they aren't going to have to stay up all night on occasion if they were working in the Trump organization. Oh, and as long as I'm the subject of sleeping, this week's second best quote occurred after Kendra woke Tana up to say that she was like a girl who'd just had sex and Tana grabbed some metal object, possibly her clock, and said, "What the hell's this doin' in my bed?" The main point about Tana from this episode, though, is that after letting Kendra complete their project entirely on her own she then took a page out of the Jennifer Massey playbook and tried to present it as her idea in the meeting with the Pontiac executives. She had a real twitchy "I would like to smack Kendra upside the head" look about her after Kendra finally wrestled control of the presentation back from her, too. Of course, in the Massey Levi's Wheel-O-Jeans example, Jenn actually got the credit from the Levi's team for Ivana's idea, which may have been the final straw that pushed Ivana over the brink into her Massey-obsessed psychosis, while Tana's move was not nearly as successful, and Kendra ended up swinging from a basketball rim gleefully proclaiming herself a force to be reckoned with. Now that I find myself on the basketball court, two points about this week's reward: 1) How many shots did Trump really take before he sank that free throw? and 2) Either the definition of "successful team" has changed recently, or Trump calling Isiah Thomas of the last place, eliminated from the playoffs Knicks a successful team leader is his ballsiest bald-faced lie since telling us that the people really want cheeseburger pizza. Alright, all I have left to do is review the demise of chaw-dipping Lil' Trump, Chris "Tabitha" Shelton, and I will be done with this uninsightful mess. First off, I found out a few other tidbits about his arrest last week. Trump was asked about it in an interview and said "I will be there for Chris if he needs help. He's a good guy, (but) he's got an anger-management problem. We talk about it in the show - he truly is an angry guy." Also, if you were like me, you may have been wondering why someone who lives in Las Vegas was at an indian casino in Tampa anyway; the answer is that he was at John Gafford's birthday party. Maybe Gafford really is Shelton's bro, but he is sadly mistaken if he still believes that Bren and Alex are, too, because they totally played him this week. Of course, in the best quote of the episode, he also said "I perceive myself as somewhat of a brilliant young man," so his perception is clearly faulty. I got the sense that Trump may have smelled a rat in the Magna expatriates' sudden lameness, but he really couldn't justify letting Chris hang around any longer and even went so far as to fire him twice, "You're fired. Seven weeks in a row, you are fired." But then Chris started crying and in the most touching boardroom scene ever Mr. Trump called him back in and gave him a little fatherly talk before sending him on to the cab. "He's a good kid," opined the Donald after a tearful Tabitha finally left the building. Caroline smiled and replied, "He's a great kid." And I never imagined that I would be using this word to describe Chris Shelton, but when he thanked not only Trump but also George and Caroline for the opportunity during his cab speech: class. Alright, this Thursday will be the last episode before the final four, will it be another Net Worth loss as I've predicted, or will Craig William's Peaceful Feet be traipsing lazily back toward Atlanta come Friday? And I've just read in today's Newsday that The Apprentice IV will begin shooting within days, so NYC residents should keep their eyes peeled for corporate types running around town acting like retarded assholes (to make that slightly less of a needle in a haystack, also look for a pack of cameramen following them).