Tuesday, April 12, 2005

"After elimination, it is impossible to cleanse the rectal/vaginal areas with dry toilet paper. Warm water is obviously a better cleansing agent than the softest, prettiest or costliest toilet paper available. Any family laundress or personal valet can testify to this statement. Toilet paper has been perfumed, decorated in color, sterilized and made antiseptic, but nevertheless, it is still dry paper and only a step better in evolutionary improvement than the pages of the mail order catalogue or the barbaric plantain leaf. It appears incredible that the modern American who spends so many billions of dollars on cosmetics, drugs, and various other personal care preparations annually, as compared to similar expenditures for physicians' services, should be so concerned about fastidious daintiness and well being for 98% of his body, when for the better part of each 24 hours he blissfully ignores his invisible but nevertheless soiled derriere. The same American who employs the tooth brush and "Water Pik" 1-2- or 3 times daily, should not retain the antiquated habit of relying on toilet paper to achieve cleanliness. A syringe attachment for Douche, Enema, Colonic is also included. Liberated women… enjoy the luxurious continental touch when using the unique syringe douche attachments. Here is a simple safe method… a pleasure to use any time - Truly the ultimate in comfort and convenience." Take a trip over to Bidet.com and meet Mr. Bidet, American bidet prostheletizer and friend of celebrities such as Regis Philbin, Barry Gibb, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Gavin MacLeod, and Miss Universe. Read the many glowing testimonials, and once they have you convinced of the hygenic necessity of the bidet (which, by the way, is French for pony), purchase one of Mr. Bidet's many bidetastic products, such as the Bidematic [IMPORTANT NOTICE: CAUTION - ILLEGAL; Bidematic Products, including Models with cold water, and hot and cold water - are not approved by any Plumbing Code in any of the 50 United States of America (as required by Law)].

1 Comments:

Anonymous Bidet Toilet said...

not to mention that toilet paper wastes too many resources to make. if my numbers are correct, people consume about 100 million rolls of toilet paper a day, which requires 41 thousand trees, 1.3 billion gallons of water, about 700 tons of chlorine (for bleaching) and almost 50 thousand megawatts/hour.

6:26 PM  

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