A large part of my interest in this week's topic has been a desire to find some other drinks that I might want to order instead of my traditional gin & tonic on occasion, but now that we've touched on malt liquor and fortified wines we may as well stick with drinks that will make you very sick and/or kill you for a moment. Readers who didn't grow up in the midwest may only be familiar with Everclear via the Geto Boys, whose Bushwick Bill drank a bunch of Everclear back in 1991 and then tried to get his girlfriend to shoot him, losing an eye in the process, an incident detailed in his song "Ever So Clear". But you could buy this stuff in Iowa, so from personal experience let me strongly advise anyone who lives in a state where it is not illegal DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DRINK ANY OF THESE RECIPES! Or at least, if you are stupid enough to do so, just have one cup of a grain alcohol-based drink and then wait half an hour before deciding whether you want another, because it's almost pure ethanol and you are not going to realize how strong it is immediately. I brought two bottles back to college one year and really did almost kill someone, though that same warning was repeated over and over again - it wasn't from alcohol poisoning, luckily, someone just threw down 3 cups or so immediately and then passed out in the middle of the road in front of the dorm and almost got run over. For illustrative purposes only, though, here are a few of the award-winning recipes:

Ozzie's Whoopee Fizz
1 oz. Everclear
1 oz. vodka
1 oz. gin
1 oz. 7up
1 oz. Squirt
1 oz. Mountain Dew
Mix and serve over ice

Mount Evermore
1 oz. Everclear
1/2 cup strawberry yogurt
1 oz. milk
Blend with ice, top with whipped cream

Christian Killer
1/2 oz Everclear
1/4 oz creme de menthe
1/4 oz Bailey's Irish cream
Fill a shot glass halfway with Everclear. Add Bailey's irish cream and creme de menthe, and shoot.

Raging Indian
1/4 shot Everclear
1/4 shot Kahlua
1/4 shot orange juice
1/4 shot mango juice
Mix ingredients together in a shaker. Strain into a shot glass, and serve.

Golden Clipper
1 1/2 oz. Everclear
1 oz. banana schnapps
2 oz. orange juice
Mix over ice.

Convenience Store Parking Lot Punch (IAAFOTS original)
4 cans Red Bull
4 bottles Bartles & Jaymes wine cooler, classic original flavor
1 fifth peach schnapps
1 B&J bottle of Everclear
1 can Del Monte fruit cocktail
Mix ingredients with ice in medium bucket.