I was going to take this Wednesday through Friday off from work, but when no one scheduled me to work on anything today I decided to make that Tuesday through Friday, and that's why you've seen nothing in this space so far today. I've found an absolutely wonderful substitute out there, though, and truth be told she is a much more astute judge of this crazy modern world than I could ever hope to be. Let me direct your attention to the work of Carol Glassman, author of Carol's Quips in the Marco Island Sun Times. Here you can find out the truth about that garbage that kids today call 'music', discover that there are many different kinds of tea, and so much more... it's as though Erma Bombeck had accidentally gotten buried in a pet sematary and returned to life almost normal except she's not particularly funny anymore and gives off a faint grave-like odor.