And now it is Christmas Eve. My mom and sister were planning to travel here to Brooklyn for the holiday but then mom's recent health problems put that plan on hold but not entirely cancelled until the last minute, which left me with no time to find an affordable flight to Texas and its tasty barbequed brisket instead. Therefore, since everyone has left town I am currently pretending that I am Macaulay Culkin sans bumbling burglars (thus far), which is not turning out to be nearly as bleak as one might assume. For one thing, there was a game on Fox between the Packers and Vikings to decide the division championship which Green Bay just won 34-31 with a field goal in the last 3 seconds, I have my Dec. 24th tradition of watching The Apartment to look forward to later, and though one of my gift packages has reportedly gotten lost in transit my mom's Christmas candy did finally arrive yesterday afternoon (additionally, there is this funny story in the current Onion...) At the moment I'm listening to some Christmas music on my festive new iPod: Christmas Day Of The Robot by Servotron, White Nights by Psychic TV, The Little Boy Who Santa Claus Forgot by Vera Lynn, and my favorite yuletide song from childhood which I used to repeatedly play over and over and over from December 1st through the 25th until everyone else within earshot had visions of death's sweet release dancing in their heads, Jingle the Christmas Mouse. It's off the record on the left of today's advent calendar picture (but not the album on the right, which confusingly is 100% different except for the title) and it goes like this:

jingle the christmas mouse
lives in the kitchen in santa's house
and though they know he's there
nobody seems to care
he's such a quiet mouse
you'd never know he was in the house
even the family cat
has to agree with that
all year long he practices
lying still, very still
and he doesn't stir until
santa says okay
relax it's christmas day
and if you're wondering
why does he do such peculiar things?
just try remembering
these words you've heard before:
"twas the night before christmas
and all through the house
not a creature was stirring
not even a mouse"
and the mouse who wasn't stirring
was jingle the christmas mouse
jingle the christmas mouse
jingle the christmas mouse

And repeat. So my only real concerns now are 1) why can't they make the otherwise decent Silk Soy Nog a little thicker, 2) where in our little lord Jesus' name has the Chex Mix gotten to, and 3) what the caga tió is up with the Catalans?