Well, as we saw last week, Longisland’s own Chris Russo put his fuckin’ head on the fuckin’ chopping block last week by saying that his team had no fuckin’ chemistry, and so the fuckin’ Donald made him fuckin’ project manager of Apex this week. Over on the Mosaic side Kelly tried to just appoint himself project manager, but young and newly feisty Andy was having none of that and threw his hat into the ring too, though it was Kelly’s hat which ended up getting drawn anyway. His first task as manager was to answer the phone the next morning, which he did with the class and military precision we’ve come to expect from Mr. Perdew. Kelly: Good morning, this is Kelly. Receptionist: Hello, this is ____, I’m just calling to let you know that Mr. Trump will meet you ____. Kelly: Got it. Receptionist: Ok great, bye! Kelly: (hangs up). The task was setting up and running a bridal shop, and I’ve got to assume that they either already knew that one of the contestants runs a bridal shop in real life before they came up with this task or they could have changed it once they picked Sandy, since it wasn’t like it was tied to some corporate sponsor as most of the earlier tasks have been. Maybe they were assuming she would have gotten fired by now, because before this week she hadn’t shown any indication that she had what it took to get very far in this game, but it turns out she really does run a bridal shop (in contrast to Raj, as I'’ve discovered that this ‘real estate’ business he’s in is actually managing a Holiday Inn in Colorado) and as far as that business goes she really knows what she’s doing. As a result, even though they once again tried to make it seem as though maybe the team that was obviously going to win would somehow screw up, Mosaic with their wedding ringer outsold Apex 12 to 1. The way they were attempting to plant doubt about the outcome in our heads did prove once and for all that Maria has absolutely no idea of how to do any of the many specialties she has, whether its public speaking, sales, or marketing, which is what she was delegated this week. The smartly sent out a blast email to 20,000+ New York area brides, which was basically dictated to Maria by Sandy, but Maria left off the phone number and then said that someone at TheKnot.com had taken it off after she had okayed the copy. When they met with this woman the next day, of course, the lie was revealed and Maria could do nothing but blink excessively in response. Back over at Apex, Chris’ winning plan was to grab a phone and start calling every bridal shop in the city trying to get them to set up a booth in their space the very next day for a wedding expo, but once a good percentage of them had quickly hung up on him he just started saying that the fuckin’ task was fuckin’ impossible and the rest of the team had to drag him out onto the streets to go try to get a few dresses in person, with Classy Massey doing all the talking while he stood around looking bored and pissed off. Part of what made this tactic slightly more successful than the calling, I think, is that when they go out to talk to people in person, those people see the camera crew and Caroline following them around and realize that it’s the Apprentice/free publicity and not just some random foul-mouthed Guido on the line. Since readers are (or at least reader is) getting restless I’'m going to take a moment to post this as part one and will then finish up part two for you with all due speed...