I had prepared a short list of leading candidates to succeed the departing John Ashcroft as Attorney General, but it looks like Bush has already picked Alberto Gonzales to put up for confirmation. While Mr. Gonzales seems awful enough, I guess, he just doesn't seem to have that oil-annointing, statue-fearing, full-on psychopathy that we've come to expect from our Attorneys General. Here, I think, are three more qualified picks: 1) Jack Chick, 2) Dr. Gene Scott, or 3) Jormungand, The World Serpent. I realize that none of them are Hispanic, but by the time Jeb runs in four years no one's going to remember that pandering anyway, it's like releasing a movie in March and expecting it to receive Oscar consideration the following February.