Since I've been in the mood lately to go ahead and try things that I've traditionally defined as unacceptable (something all readers should give a whirl sometime, it's a new fiscal year after all, time to shake things up) I have decided to do something even more out of character than buying an umbrella and become a reality television viewer. The show I will be a devoted fan of will be the one I would previously have found the least scooterworthy, too, The Apprentice. One fact that is going to help me in this forced change of taste is my long history of ironic love for Donald Trump, first adopted back in the heyday of Spy magazine, and a second is the fervent hope that they will show ample footage from this incident. Everyone in the cast is a horrible, boring idiot, of course, but I have managed to adopt one contestant to be my special Apprentice girlfriend because she looks sweet and adorable, in contrast with the rest of the nasty ladies, and much more importantly she said absolutely nothing during the entire first episode. This is key, because while I have since found out from her Friendster profile that she is just as lame as everyone else, perhaps more so, I can ignore that knowledge and pretend that she knits sweaters for pikas while listening to Altered Images or something. I think it might also mean that she's not going to last forever, because she would have had some lines if she was going to become intregal to the plot, right? But at least until her true corporate lawyer colors are revealed (probably in the next few weeks on the show where she gets fired), Stacy R. and myself are very much in love.