I used to collect highlights from the presentations I worked on until I managed to develop the ability to type copy without actually reading it. Some customer segments do no like working with machine. Perhaps a trip to the data whorehouse will change their tune.

Rather than throwing sneakers over power lines, Portlanders evidently embed sections of log into theirs. I don't know whether it's supposed to indicate that you can score smack around there though... I'm thinking maybe shoes are for horse and logs are for ice, or maybe it's all just for fun.

It's a small world wide web after all... I've spent many an hour in the past wasting time flipping through these Tick Tock Toy archives, probably even linking to them here once or twice (I heartily recommend bookmarking that site, there is so much goodness to be looked at there). Then today I got a comment on this photo over on Flickr by a fella who, upon looking at his photos and clicking on an attendant link, has been revealed to be the man behind that site! Crazy... Anyhow, I've now found that he also does these Mr. Toast comics, which I've been enjoying going through this morning - in particular the "Comic Strip" and "Recent Work" sections. Here are a few random favorites, now get over there and look at each and every one of the rest yourself!

It doesn't have anything to do with this photo from the Oregon Zoo (other than they both have a certain adorability about them), but reader Andrew H. has sent in a tip to what I will now declare to be the current Greatest Website In All Of CyberSpace: Cats In Sinks.

One thing about that Oregon compared to NYC, there's a wider variety of small furry mammals to espy. Well, maybe comparing a state to a city isn't entirely fair, there'd be chipmunks and etc. out the ying-yang upstate, and two of these pictures were taken at the zoo... I did see what I believe was a marmot out in the wild that I didn't get a photo of, and I think maybe a raccoon, too. Anyway, even though I could see all of these mammals here in NYState and neighboring environs, I do not, so I enjoyed doing so during my vacation. On Sunday(?) we travelled out of Portland a short ways to see some of the Columbia River Gorge, stopping a couple places to view views and hike up in the forested mountains a bit. The little critter up top here was scurrying around down in the underbrush beside the trail when we took a break to catch our breath at one point, hopping to another spot just about the time I'd find him through my viewfinder, but I finally managed to get him in this shot. Below the chipmunk (which, I don't think I need to tell you but will anyway, is a member of the squirrel family) is a nappin' otter (actually 2, there's another behind him) curled up in his peer-into-able den at the Oregon Zoo. Earlier we'd watched them swimming and cavorting up above in their tank, which is probably pretty tiring. I kinda have ambivalent feelings whenever I go to a zoo; I love looking at the animals but also feel sad and bothered that they're all cooped up. I'd say the Oregon Zoo falls about in the middle of the zoo decency spectrum, the enclosures aren't really tiny and most of the animals seemed relatively contented, but it's not one of those with the really large, more natural-seeming environments for them to wander around in either. And the polar bears did just pace around in the same circle over and over and over and over and over... ANYhow, wrapping up this description before the internet here goes down again (as it's been doing most of today) at the bottom of the stack you will find a beaver, specifically beaver booty. Now if you'll excuse me, while this internet remains accessible I need to go check out what those crazy nudists over at Love Is... have been up to recently...

This looks like its been going around getting forwarded to everyone on the cookie-hatted bunny superhighway for at least a year and a half now, but I had never seen it until reader Sarah W. tipped me off today and I like it, so even if you've seen it before, I urge you to see it again (also, note how I have cleverly not said what it is so you kinda have to... here's what looks like it may be the original source, too).

SO, I have a whole bunch of photos and etc. from my vacation in Oregon that I need to get fixed up for posting on Flickr and here in coming days, but I've had very little sleep and can hardly formulate a coherent thought at the moment... but I've got a very sweet girlfriend in Portland and we're all in love and whatnot and la la la. As soon as I get sufficiently rested I'm going to have to start writing a script for the heartwarming blockbuster romantic comedy adaption of the story that Hollywood is clamoring for... a few possible titles I've come up with are "Must Love Bun E. Carlos" or "You've Got Kale!". This photo is from down around Crater Lake. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go miss my Frances for a bit before toppling over into my wastebasket from the extreme exhaustion I'm currently grabblin' with here.

Hey, I'm back in the 718. This pika was at the Portland Zoo. Oh, and not that I mind at all the flurry of commenting that has nothing to do with me, me, or me, but I did recently hear of some kinda free Electronic Mail thingamajig that could be just the sort of thing you kids are lookin' for. Once I get some sleep and see how the whole workaday world is going tomorrow I'll see if I can do a little research on it and fill y'all in...

paul captured by robot (?)
Originally uploaded by sarahfrances.

Here are a few vacation photos to whet your appetite (I'ma save the Clackamas County Fair pictures until I get back so as I can write a little about them ala last year's Dutchess County Fair extravaganza). From top to bottom: the NYC skyline at sunrise from Newark Airport, Frances in action, and a Portland squirrel. I encourage you all to check back again and again and again to see whether more will be posted over the next week!

Hey there. In case you are not "in the know", I am currently on vacation in Portland, Oregon visiting my girlfriend Frances. I've taken a photo or two (and will be taking many more before my return on the 28th) that might go up on Flickr and possibly also here during vacation-time, so feel free to keep on checking back repeatedly just in case! And as far as how things are going, I'll just say very well indeed and leave it at that. Tomorrow we travel down to the Clackamas County Fair! Pygmy goats, demolition derby, rodeo, pretty baby contest, etc. etc. and etc.! For right now, though, I just have a little something that has been tipped by the inveterate tipster reader Andrea B. Please hail Odin and then enjoy.

Obviously, I am even more freaked and distracted by my impending journeying today, BUT as luck would have it I have come upon two pages (via Wonkette) that you simply must see. Kittens and more kittens!

I'm somewhat harried and distracted in my last few days before embarking on my big trip here, but I have been tipped to the existence of something rather odd that you may find of interest. From reader Sarah W. comes word of this exciting new way to keep your beloved animal friends (or at least their lifeless corpses) with you always: We know first hand how close we all are with our companions, our Pets. When they pass on our loss is that of a family member. Preserving your Pet by Freeze-drying is an effective, sensible and increasingly popular alternative when compared to other options. I assume by other options they mean respectfully burying or cremating and such? I'm not sure what they mean by sensible. My feeling is that if you would find it creepy and wrong to have your grandpa's freeze-dried body curled up in the corner of your living room then perhaps you should apply the same rule of thumb to your German Shephard pal when he passes on. Call me crazy (and while we're on the topic of crazy, if you would not find keeping grandpa's freeze-dried husk as an objet d'art in your home wrong, then...) Though there could be a certain amount of cruel fun to be had with this likely scenario, "Oh hey, Worf is looking a lot better than the last time I visited you guys... hey buddy, how's it goin' Wor--- wait, what the- AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" You don't have to miss out on the increasingly popular freeze-dried critter craze just because you don't have a freshly deceased pet, though, they'll dry fish and squirrels and whatever up for you. Perhaps a nice turkey head? Why use artificial when you can have the real thing & save money too? Really the more I think about it, this cutting edge technology is going to be a godsend; I don't know about you but my turkey head bills have been outrageous this year.

Monsignor McGolrick Park, Greenpoint, Brooklyn, U.S.A., Sunday afternoon.

friend of one2

friend of one2
Originally uploaded by sarahfrances.

Oh, and hey, Cityrag has a post today alerting us to an annual event that I used to quite enjoy camping out on the lawn all night and watching back in the days of my youth when there was a clear and dark night sky available overhead. So if you should find yourself away from the bright lights of the big city yourself: recommended!

Business overwhelms today, but I did overhear something peculiar out on the street earlier that I can share as well. It was a man talking to two female companions, all kinda shuffly and dumpy but they seemed maybe a little more back-office staff than tourist... perhaps the HR dept. is taking a holiday together? Anyway, here's what dude said: "So, do you want to try to find some cilantro now?" As noted above - peculiar.

Reader Mike A. has tipped us to this story on our favorite celebrity carcasses. Lucille Ball is America's most beloved dead star. "What is there not to like about Lucy?" [Steve Levitt] said... "Well, I mean, other than the moldering corpsiness and whatnot."

Rrrrrr.... this story I've just seen has really gotten my libertarian-leaning panties in a bunch. To quote a favorite troubador of a freshly birthday-ed friend of mine (not Paul Stuart Wichansky): Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone!

7th Street between 1st and A, taken right after going here to get one of these.

It has just gone celebrity-sighting Krazy here in midtown NYC... this latest one may be the best yet, and I'm kicking myself that I didn't have my lil' camera in my pocket at the time. I was just running down to Rockefeller Center, located a few blocks south of my office building, and as I approached Radio City Music Hall I noticed that there was a bit of a crowd and metal barriers were up around the entrance/sidewalk in front, making passersby swing out into the street for a short stretch. As I got closer i first noticed two live camels... and then a herd of Rockettes in short, ass-showing red velvet Chistmas outfits, complete with red hats with the white poms on the tips... and then I saw one more such hat atop a fat and jolly red-suited man with a white beard... Santa Claus! Santa, six Rockettes, and two live camels, that's my sighting. I really don't know what they were doing out there in August... as I went around the corner there was some advertising for the Christmas Spectacular, but those tickets go on sale in November, I thought..... anyhow, Santa kicks Fiddy Cent's ass any day. Speaking of my G-Unit sightings from the past few days, there's a bit of a follow-up report in today's Daily News: Young Buck - best known for allegedly stabbing a man who punched Dr. Dre at last year's Vibe Awards - and rapper Lloyd Banks were among 13 men arrested when NYPD gang cops pulled over G-Unit's van. Hours later, a member of 50Cent's entourage, Norman Bell, allegedly slugged a parking attendant near the luxurious Rihga Royal Hotel, where the rapper's posse had been staying.

Update on the continuing G-Unit soldiers' occupation of the territory next to my office buidling to report. I was just downstairs and saw evidence that some troop movements are going down as we blog here; whole bunch of Escalades lining up in front of the Rihga Royal, one all wrapped with G-U graphics and Vitamin Water logos, and the rest just big and black. I also definitely had at least one celebrity sighting... of sorts, I have no idea which hip-hop superstar it may have been, but he was clearly Somebody. Not Fiddy or M.O.P.'s Lil Fame, though, as those are the two I would recognize. Well, and Eminem too if he's part of this tour that's now at the Garden, but this unknown famous person I speak of was of the African-American persuasion. SO, either hurry on over to 54th b/t 6th & 7th if you want to see all your favorite rap stars climbing into cars, or hurry on away from that vicinity if you want to avoid the slight possibility of gunfire (because, quite seriously, that Fiddy does have an alarming tendency to get himself shot at).

Some Michigan cheerleaders have taken a break from their everyday duties as athletic supporters and pyramid builders to help take a bite out of crime, and as a result we've got a headline derby on our hands yet again: Cheerleaders Get Their Man, Edmonton Sun; Hit-and-Run Driver Has Nothing To Cheer About, Seattle Times; Give Me a B, U, S, T, Independent Online; Gimme a B For Busted, Sydney Morning Herald; Wooooo, Way To Go, Way To Go!, Kansas City Star (that one is rather poor, in my opinion); and our winner -
2-4-6-8, Whom Did We Incriminate?, Chicago Tribune. However, I'm going to link to the story on MSNBC (Rah-rah-hey! Crime Doesn't Pay!), because it doesn't require registration and there's some video from the spirit bunnies' Today Show appearance. Oh, and speaking of spirit bunnies, I've also found this interesting article from 1989, the year of Clairemont High School's 10 year reunion... perhaps you're more familiar with its' fictionalized name, Ridgemont High?

By the by, this was taken before my amazing new haircut, in case you were wondering. Otherwise, I still look just this great.

Follow-up on that celebrity sighting: I was just downstairs again and it is officially G-Unit crazy over at the Rihga Royal (54th b/t 6th & 7th)... big decked out bus across the street, bunch of guys wearing black "M.O.P. - Game Over" t-shirts hanging out front... and by the way, if M.O.P. are now signed with G-Unit, as those shirts would seem to suggest, I am now officially squashing my imaginary beef with Fiddy, because I am quite the fan of Brownsville's finest, Billy Danze and Fizzy Womack. It appears there may be another new G-Unit signing that doesn't make quite as much sense as that one, however - when looking over the News section of the G-Unit website I found this incongruous item: Check out Pauly Shore's new show "Minding The Store", Sunday nights at 10/9 C. Have they replaced The Game with The Weasel? [UPDATE: Reader Andrea B. has now tipped me to this explanation of the thugged-out Rihga from Gothamist].

Here's a little something that I overheard on the TV a month or so back and wrote down on a post-it note and then forgot about until last night... I could be just about the only person who will find it funny, and I will hasten to add that I certainly don't find the actual subject of this snippet amusing, just the way that it perfectly encapsulates a certain strain of Oprahness. Because it does come from Oprah, I was flipping past one night and saw about 5 seconds of Ms. Winfrey sitting in her chair wrapping up some segment all Oprah-style, and by the time I'd flipped a few channels past the words caught up to me and I thought 'Wait a second, what was that she just said? I gotta write that down.' AND, now that I've completed this lengthy build-up to a disappointing pay-off, here's the soundbite: "If you'd like to find out what you can do to help stop baby rape, visit our-". That's when I flipped away, but I assume that she continued with 'website at wherever.com, etc.... After the break, look at my very expensive SHOOOoooeesss! Aren't those fabulous? No, you people will not be getting any, I already gave you all those jars of my new favorite jam. Be right back.' Oh, Oprah.

Hey, possible celebrity sighting here! When I was out getting a delicious tuna melt not long ago I think I spotted Fiddy Cent coming out of some building and getting into a car. Had a bit of a G-Unit posse around him so I wasn't able to get off a clean shot - as you are probably aware, Fiddy and I have a history of some mad beef, yo... I guess it all started when that song from my latest mixtape, "In Da Tub (Gonna Wet Ya)" started getting played on Hot97 all the time ("Yo Fifty, it's 'you suck' day, gonna party like it's 'you suck' day, sip Bacardi like it's, etc.") and things have just escalated from there. Really have to cool that shit down, I'm just about gettin paid, know what I'm sayin? No time for the beef anyway with all this cross-country jet-setting I got going on. For reals.

Thanks to Mike and Sarah for the pillow! It is so very excellent.

Ok, today I'm just tired and SWAMped... and as I've just explained to a complainant, this shit don't grow on trees, y'know. No, indeed, blood, sweat, and tears go into this, and all for you, my readers. So cut me some slack. I did just overhear a mildy intriguing conversation on the elevator, though, so let me pretend to be Overheard in New York for a moment before descending back into the mine... this is between some consultant dude and a service coordinator guy who sits at the front desk, both leaving for the day and talking about the extreme hotness.

Con: Before too long it'll be getting nice again, though. Autumn, that's my favorite.
SC: Yeah, yeah. Autumn and fall.
Con: So where do you live, anyway?
SC: Jersey.

I don't really know if that last part's relevant, but I thought I'd include the whole of what I heard. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some numbers and digits to input.

Well, turns out marking my words yesterday was a fine idea, look at all this bloggin. We have a correction to make to the report a few weeks back that the inventor of the TV dinner had died (I don't believe that I actually reported it, but maybe you read about it elsewhere). In place of "inventor of the TV dinner", the obituary should have read "big ol' liar". We apologize for this error.

Ever since the Orioles started this season-screwing freefall they've been in for the past month, I've been saying, "Get rid of that bum Mazzilli already, we need a manager who's not afraid to wear some bright red shorts and chop a little wood." Done and done.

Speaking of tiny cars: thank god I'm not travelling to Ottumwa.

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I knew as soon as I wrote "mark my words" yesterday that I would live to regret it. Between the work that I really really need to be doing and the daydreaming that I am doing, I haven't found anything to blog about... well, anything other than tiny cars, tiny cars, and tiny cars that is! I don't think there's much more I need to say about them... they are cars, they are tiny, and there are tons of cool old photos, illustrations, etc. about them to be looked at longingly and at length. Oh, which reminds me - also the stretch limo of tiny cars.

Seriously, I have really gotta start buckling down and paying a little more attention to my poor, distraction-craving readership, try to get this crap back on track for a change. And what do I have? Well... I've been saving this particular link in my bookmarks since sometime last year, waiting in the vain hope that some clever way to set it up that will make it seem at all interesting will come to me. I mean, I find it interesting, but I can't really figure out a plausible argument for why you might also be interested in reading about a beloved old local TV personality from Tulsa, unless you're an old Tulsan. The personality in question is Gailard Sartain, and a little further investigation does reveal that you've probably seen him in something... you know, the fat guy on Hee Haw who wasn't Junior Samples, he was the Big Bopper in The Buddy Holly Story? Yeah, like that. Still, I encourage you to give these three pages a chance... there are a lot of fun old commercial clips and some insight into the early career of Mr. Scary Abusey if that sweetens the pot any for you. If not the only other thing I've got right this second is this Bad Brains interview from 1981... but I'll get busy on tracking down SOMEthing of more general interest for tomorrow, mark my words. You know, something like inflatable entanglement (what is up with this 'trap-door' they speak of, btw?)

OK, let's try to post a little something unrelated to my general silly goofiness these days... I'm helped in this goal by reader Jenn S., who has sent in a few tips. I think this first boy's problems maybe could have been avoided if he'd decided to sneak into class naked and tickle his teacher's feet instead... or at least he might have gotten a slightly less messy sentence. Also, all on my own I have this link to share which was left over from my inflatables research. This picture tells it all on this unique bouncer.

It's someone's birthday today! Happy Birthday, someone...

More sights of the GPT, taken this past Sunday afternoon.

Here's a headline I was seeing in my Top Stories yesterday: Dog Beats Most In Swim From Alcatraz. Damn, I guess he hasn't 'still got it'... beaten by a dog, poor Ralph Malph. Oh wait, perhaps I've misunderstood that headline.

Still somewhat preoccupied here, but I'll try to find a little something of interest and amusement this afternoon... oh, and just so you can prepare yourselves for being without the most essential website in all of christendom for a slightly longer spell, I will be on vacation from the 18th through the 28th of August in Portland, Oregon. Yes I will......

2 happy 2 blog 2 day... plus i've got some travel plannin' 2 do. la la la la.